Heavily Meditated

Sunday, August 16th, 2015

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Coming to you live from my new home in Lawrence! I am beyond happy to finally be here and (mostly) moved into this huge, beautiful house with seven of my best friends. What even is this life?

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In my hometown, where I stayed for most of the summer, I was suffering massive writer’s block, lack of inspiration, and frankly motivation. Now that I’m back in my true hometown for the year, these waves of inspiration have just been hitting me in the face. This wondrous shirt from Qtee accurately portrays how I’m feeling right now as I attempt to ride out this life high for as long as I can. Seriously, thanks, Qtee I’m obsessed with customizing your shirts to my liking. YOU GUYS, they have shirts on all my favorite topics — cats, pizza, coffee, yoga, travel, mermaids, you name it. I literally customized 3958743920 shirts before I came to the final decision of this one. I love how all the prints come on nearly every shirt shape, color, and how fun it is to customize the colors. So entertaining. Ultimately, I picked this relaxed slouchy style in my favorite color scheme because that’s who I am as a human being.

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Anyways, I’d really like this new time in my life to be cleansing to my being and spirituality in every way. I want to raise my frequency with each step I take, and I thought I’d share with you the little ways I’m going to stay focused, together, motivated, and most importantly, happy this year.


First of all, I’m going to meditate everyday. It always seems so easy to devote ten minutes of your life to doing absolutely nothing, but it’s not. I always start off strong, and then one day it’s a, “I’m too tired today, I’ll make up for it tomorrow” kind of thing, and then the next day I’m too busy, and my routine falls apart slowly, until I become my formal spiritually frazzled self. As horrifying as routine is to me, it’s vital to my mental survival. So I’m going to meditate once when I wake up for ten minutes, and once before I go to sleep for ten minutes. Is two times a day really necessary? Probably not for most people, but this is what I know in terms of ridding myself of my own personal daily anxieties.

I know to most of you, meditation sounds clich√©, cheesy, and/or useless. It’s not. I like to think of meditation as a prayer to myself. Whatever religion you hold, and whatever god you believe in, of course I support your prayers and rituals, but sometimes we forget to simply be. Sitting and existing exclusively by myself, doesn’t only decrease my long term anxieties and betters me as a human, but it humbles me and is a daily reminder that I, my consciousness, exist and that, is an amazing, divine thing to begin with. I am operating the most complex thing I know: the human brain,¬† and sometimes I have to remember that sitting on a floor and just breathing is a miraculous thing in itself.

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I’m also going to journal every dream that I remember right when I wake up.

I love dreams. I love manipulating my sleeping subconscious, I love lucid dreams, I am intrigued by the connection of REM to memory, and I am fascinated by what my dreaming mind mean to my awake life. I’ve always thought dreams were important — from the age I was able to communicate them. The older I became, the more I realized that writing down and remembering my dreams, causes to to dream, or at least remember my dreams better, making them more vivid, and easily manipulated. I couldn’t pinpoint and tell you why I think this is such an important thing for me, but it is. Yes, of course I still have nonsensical dreams about attending Paris Hilton’s party while her mom threatens to kill us all unless I sell Paris’s new line of shoes to everyone, but that’s the beauty of it all — the chaos and unpredictability. I’m going through a journey and so is my sleeping mind.

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Does anyone else remember that really long period of time in my life where I only consumed raw foods mostly in smoothie form? That was the height of my mental awareness. Eating raw, simple food, in turn makes me feel more pure, and less chaotic and processed. You are what you eat, and I’m only eating smoothies for breakfast. Everyday. Easy peasy.

Also, WATER. My favorite liquid ever is coffee, and it is so easy for me to forget to drink water, it’s ridiculous, but I definitely feel noticeably better from the inside-out when I’m drinking the required amount for my body and beyond.

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In the first psychology class I ever took, on Valentine’s Day, my professor was talking about social psychology and the basics of it; one thing really stuck with me. The five people we spend the most time with? We become like them — developing similar demeanor as well as mentalities. It terrified me. That was the year I started cutting people out of my life who weren’t vibrating at same frequency as me — the ones who only created static. Since then, I’ve made it a priority to stay mindful of those I’m sharing my energy with. This year is no different… maybe even a bit more harsh. This year, for me, is definitely about surrounding myself with inspiring, positive people. Starting with my roommates, and ending with my friends and potential love interests. In order to grow, we have to leave certain things behind, and as scary as it is to let go, even scarier is plateauing.

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Also, you know that weird voice inside your head that kind of narrates your life almost? Okay, maybe nobody knows what I’m talking about and I’m just completely crazy, but when I’m reading a massive novel that I’ve really invested myself in, the voice of the book will almost start to seep into my subconscious and affect the way that voice sees things and reacts to them. That being said, I do read a lot of lighthearted, enlightening literature, but I’ve also been known to enjoy all of the Stephen King books in the land, as well as accidentally binge read the entire 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. You can only imagine how this reading material affects that voice in my head… so I’ve kind of made a goal to read some good-for-my-soul-bettering-myself literature more often; however, I’m not replacing my favorite Stephen King novels — just adding to my reading palette.

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Yoga and stretching are also important to me physically as well as mentally. When I get out of my stretching for at least fifteen minutes a day everyday, and getting through at least one yoga session a day, I falter. I have rheumatoid arthritis, which doesn’t help the fact, but keeping that routine in there gives me a sort of physical clarity as compared to my sore, stiff, old person feelings when I stray from my mat for too long.

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Oh my gosh, I’ve covered dreams, but have I even mentioned sleep yet?! This is so important, to me specifically, because of how much I suffer from insomnia. From sixth grade I have been this awful creature of the night who could not sleep for the life of me. Meditation helps with this for me immensely, and I’m prescribed a number of scary medicines as well, but seriously, I am trying so incredibly hard to develop a healthy sleep pattern that involves more than five hours of sleep a night. It’s awful how noticeably sleep affects my life.

I will sleep seven hours a night.

I will have a routine.

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Last, but not least in the slightest, I will write daily. Whether it’s through the use of writing prompts, deadlines, or simply journaling about my strange daily life, I will write. As writers, it’s hard to start writing. Picking up a pen and putting it to paper is vulnerability, because once you do that simple task, you face all your demons. Will I fail? Is this going to be better than my last piece or worse? Probably worse, right? Is anybody going to like this? Is anybody going to even read it? Will my clients be happy? Why am I getting paid to do this? How did I ever get paid for this? Why do I suck? Why did I choose this path? Who encouraged this?

But the feeling at the end, when you’ve finished a piece, and might even be proud of it, it’s all worth it for that deep breath you feel like you finally deserve to take.

So yeah, that’s how I’m holding onto my sanity this year. I am in no way telling you this is what is absolutely right, or what you should be doing daily too. Basically this is just a list of things I want to improve on, and if you want to improve on these topics as well, cool, tell me. Let’s have a conversation. What do you do to keep your own sanity?



Wake up….DRANK

Saturday, January 3rd, 2015


Okay, so no. This post is not actually about New Year’s resolutions or anything like that, because the concept of New Year resolutions kind of freaks me out, I don’t know. I’ve just spent the last semester completely treating my body as a hotel rather than a home. So, of course, I’m back to as much raw fruit and veggies as I can handle. To give your body a bit of its kick back after all of the holiday food, wine, and champagne I know you all consumed, I’m going to give you four of my all time favorite detox drinks. I took these pictures right when I woke up and had to use the self-timer because nobody was around this morning, hence the more awkward than normal pictures and spilled water everywhere hahah! I already feel better about life after drinking two of these + some nice cream and an avocado salad.
From left to right:
Mint, cucumber, and lime soaking in water overnight
half a pomegranate and a few lemon slices soaked in water overnight
mint, cucumber, and lemon soaked in water overnight
juice of a lemon, water, a tiny pinch of cayenne, and agave syrup to taste served right away
Healthy, fun, SIMPLE ways to drink more water, and even more importantly, they’re so pretty! 

bralette: fortuity
pajama pants: JCP

Garden Grill Cafe

Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

I totally forgot to post this, but I went to the Garden Grill Cafe in Wichita, Kansas- and it was kind of perfect. The setting is in this building- the restaurant itself is a bit hidden, which makes it that much more of a hidden treasure. On the inside, the energy is great, the atmosphere is cozy and friendly- and the staff! Everyone there is so amazing. Seriously. The cook’s (I think) children were even there. It is vegan, but you wouldn’t know it simply by tasting their food for all you meat-eaters. We were brought out samples of a soup which was Mediterranean inspired, and it was seriously the best soup I’ve ever had, although my mother isn’t the best cook, so anything in comparison is wonderful. I ordered a fruit cocktail- it was so pretty! AND SO GOOD. I loved how they topped it with fresh mint. I ordered a special which was gluten free spaghetti with marinara “meat” sauce. It tasted just like normal spaghetti without the guilt! My friend ordered the gluten free macaroni and “cheese” which also tasted like traditional homemade mac and cheese. The broccoli was so unique. I I’m obsessed with it. Indulgence is fun. I ordered a gluten free cheese and olive pizza to go (not pictured)- MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE. It came with their awesome fry potato thingies. I had no idea there was a vegan restaurant closer than Kansas City?! So excited I found it! We had plenty of leftovers as you can see. I can’t wait to go back!

Snippets of my story- Raw Peach Pie Shake

Monday, May 5th, 2014

“I need to be pretty and funny and smart but I need to have quiet opinions and make meaningful art but I want to be reckless and wild and untamed I don’t want only my tombstone remembering my name. I need to be patient and thoughtful and kind but nobody can be perfect without first losing their mind and I’m so scared because I’m full of this greed where I’d rather have what I want than be what I need.”
Okokokok so this lifestyle=abundance. The coolest thing about fruit, is that when it’s your main source of calories, you have to eat a lot. Our generation has been taught to deprive ourselves of the necessary nutrients we need to keep our bodies healthy and our minds sharp. With most diets and lifestyles the biggest concern is that you’re eating too much. Too many calories, too much fat, too many carbs- the list goes on; however, the biggest problem people face with this lifestyle, is that they aren’t eating enough calories. Honestly, I’m on a detox from hell right now, as my body is readjusting to this lifestyle. I’m tired and sore and my head hurts. This is my body flushing out all of the chemicals I can’t pronounce from processed foods and french fries. The food most people eat normally can be compared to drugs, hence the withdrawal symptoms. But in the next week, my energy levels will spike again, I’ll feel light on my feet, and my mind will be clear once again, and I cannot wait to have that feeling back. The best I’ve ever felt, was when my diet consisted of only fruits and vegetables. Carb up, baby. Simplify your diet. Eat one calorie foods instead of fifty calorie foods and your body will thank you. If you can’t eat a food in its purest form, why eat it at all? I feel so sorry for people who think fruit makes them fat. I’m in love with eating 2,000+ calories a day in fruit and losing fat rather than restricting calories to 500 or less in protein shakes and bars and gaining. Find what works for you and do it.
I saw this cute recipe on modcloths blog (which of course I can’t find now) and I noticed how easy it would be to turn raw! So I did! This is perfect for the nicer whether! It makes me think of Independence Day for some reason.
-2 well ripened bananas
-1 1/2 cups frozen peaches
-a few vanilla drops
-a dash of cinnamon
-a tiny bit of ginger
-1 Tb raw honey (or agave nectar)
-1-2 cups of unsweetened almond milk to blend

One Day Without Shoes

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

My fav pair of Toms have been through so much in the past four years. Rain, snow, and sunshine. I don’t have the heart to get rid of them because I still love them so. I don’t think I really need to explain what Toms are- Originally starting with shoes, this company started a one-for-one system, so when you bought a pair, they would give another pair to a child in need. It’s amazing how we take shoes for granted. It’s rainy and cold here in Kansas, and the grass and pine needles in my front yard stings. I can’t imagine what it would be like to go barefoot daily. Shoes protect us from cuts, disease, and infection. Also, the “no shirt, no shoes, no service” policy extends to most countries. Shoes are part of school uniforms, and when a child is provided with a pair, it is shown that attendance increases by 62%. Toms eventually moved on to eyewear- 285 million individuals are blind or visually impaired. But 80% of those cases can be corrected or prevented with general eye care. It blows my mind that so many of people are living with something as simple to reverse as cataracts (15 minute procedure) that is so readily available here in the US. So when you buy a cute pair of sunnies, someone in need gets the eye care, such as glasses, procedures, and medicines for infections. But Toms didn’t stop there. Now they sell coffee. GOOD coffee at that. It is estimated that 1.8 billion people are drinking unsafe water. That’s, what? 1 out of every 4 humans? When you buy coffee, they guarantee that you will be providing 140 liters of clean, safe water to a person in need.
Anyways, every year, there’s a day without shoes that Toms hosts worldwide, where obviously the idea is to not wear shoes. The whole point of this day, is to raise awareness and understanding. Regardless if you believe in the brand Toms or not, this is still a great day to spread statistics and hard facts. We are all the same. We are one. But some of us, out of pure happenstance, luck out and are placed somewhere with clean water and proper medicine. It’s not something any of us have done to deserve better lives, it just happens. So just remember to be kind in the ways that you know how. Be kind to those around you, be kind to the earth that sustains you, and be kind to yourself.

You can get involved here
and you can shop/give here

Snippets of my Story

Sunday, April 27th, 2014

Hi. I’m Chantel. A lot of you may know me as that awkward girl on instagram who went through a phase of only posting pictures of food- which I’m okay with because like the moon, I go through phases. I’m not a “constant” and I don’t intend to be. My passions change like seasons, but a few of them will always remain: fashion, writing, art, and health. In my eighteen years of living, I’ve gone through an extensive journey of self-discovery, and obviously I’m still very much involved with that process, hence this blog.
Since this blog is about the things that I love (I refuse to limit myself to just articles of clothing) I’m going to share bits of my personal story with you that nearly nobody knows. I don’t want this website to be my “highlight reel,” I want it to be real. I would genuinely like to share and maybe even inspire more than I want to be a walking advertisement. If more people were willing to tell their story, maybe our generation wouldn’t have to google so much of their life. (yes that’s a thing it happens ok)
I can’t think of a time I have been truly happy with my body. Which is normal, I guess, because I’m a girl- but it shouldn’t be. Since my sixth grade year, I have done everything from extreme extended juice cleanses to vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free diets, to literally anything you can think of. I’ve always been naturally underweight, but with an array of autoimmune problems and sickness, my activity level, medications, and weight fluctuated along with my self-esteem. My eating habits became erratic, and I went through starve-binge cycles for years. I made it a point to keep everything I was feeling inside my own mind. Yes, I’ve done things to my body that I’m not proud of for the sake of acceptance. It’s hard to believe that I actually let myself get so worked up over a number on the scale?!
I eventually decided that labels are crap. I didn’t want to be “vegan” or “vegetarian” anymore, I simply wanted to be healthy. So I did what I do best- I researched. I read books on health and different lifestyles. I befriended the people living those different lifestyles. I asked questions. I taught myself about processed foods, food labels, animal products, carbs, gluten, everything I had questions about, and I’m still learning. Through this journey, I fell in love with simplicity. Raw fruits and vegetables. Coming up with crazy combinations- making art out of fruit. Making insanely healthy food taste absolutely sinful. I rerouted my sugar tainted SAD taste buds (Standard American Diet) and started feeding my body instead of my ego. Instead of being neurotic and crazy about my body, treating it like a temple, I started treating my body like my home. It’s where I reside, not where I worship.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t JUST eat raw foods, but I’ve reverted to this sort of “nourish don’t punish” philosophy. I woke up one day and decided to be genuinely conscious. Granted, I still have bad, self-hate filled day, but don’t we all? It’s all about observing and moving forward. In the same way my great aunt used to tell me if I crossed my eyes too long, my face would freeze that way, if you linger on a feeling too long, it’s going to stick.
Positive in, positive out.
This is an extremely summarized post and I still feel uneasy posting it. I’ll go into more detail about my health issues as well as my physical and spiritual journey in the next few posts of this series. Just remember, we all have our flaws. We do what it takes to hide them and that doesn’t make us fake, it makes us human. <3

Smoothie recipe below!

Giant Smoothies are my go-to.
This particular smoothie is one of my absolute favs.
Two bananas
TONS of frozen strawberries
pomegranate juice to blend
Fruit is the most sustainable food on the planet. Indulge in true medicine.

Midi ring-set and $2 flower headband from Rue21

Tote Top Tens

Thursday, April 24th, 2014

I don’t usually keep a purse around- Mostly because I lose things daily and I have this deep paranoia about losing $300 bags. But when I do get the courage up to lug something around with me, I have a few key items I try to keep in it! Okay more like ten. Read on below!
1: My  Fujifilm Instax Mini 8 Camera- I have four polaroids and instant cameras. Something about documenting tiny moments in time and having the result right away. No take backs. No do overs. Just pure candid moments. The mini comes in so many cute pastel colors! Black and white for the boys, as well. You can purchase it here.
2: My phone of course! I just recently took off my otterbox. *bum bum BUMMM* I’m loving this case though! My cousin has the other half. She doesn’t know it yet. I guess now is when I find out if she reads my blog or not.
3: Hair accessories: I’m literally always on the go. I don’t take much time to concentrate on my hair. I spend an average of ten minutes doing it up on a good day, so headbands, hair ties, ribbons are an absolute must. I actually just bought this little flower crown from Rue 21 yesterday on sale for $2.
4: A journal: You will ALWAYS find a journal in my bag. I write down whatever inspiration I’m getting so I don’t forget it. I also believe in the hand-to-brain connection more than technology. I’m rather old-fashioned in that sense, I suppose. Quick word of advice: Carry a journal that doesn’t double as your super secret personal one. Save that for under your bed. Seriously, when I die and they read the journals piled up in my room, they’ll get a glimpse at jut how dark and twisty was. But this journal is not one of them.
5: Favorite pen: If you have a favorite type of pen, let’s be friends. This is basically the only pen I write with. It’s just so smooth and pretty and also pink.
6: Nail polish: I usually have one or two colors on me at all times. I have relatively tame taste in nail colors and designs. I like my nails plain and neutral. I want everything to match them. My two absolute favorite shades are Fiji and Sand Tropez by Essie.
7: Baby lips: I feel weird when my lips have nothing on them. I always wear lipstick, but in the colder months my lips are constantly chapped and pink baby lips totally saves them without having to risk color as well. (This shade smells like pink lemonade)
8: Sunscreen: I have fair, sensitive skin. If I sit NEAR a window for over five minutes I’m burnt to a crisp. I use this Coppertone Water Babies SPF 55 for my face, because it’s small, cheap, and I’m convinced that anything made for babies is ten times better for sensitive skin. It’s also scentless and blends really nicely with any face makeup I have on.
9: EOS: Yes, another lip product. I’m always fighting chapped lips, it’s terrible. EOS looks great over lip color and is 99% natural, which I love.
10: Sunnies: Of course. Who doesn’t carry a cute pair of sunnies? Like my whole paranoid bag thing, I’m terrified of breaking an expensive pair of glasses, which I would, so I try and make it a rule not to spend more than $20 on a pair of sunglasses I’ll probably only wear a few times before I sit on them. I actually purchased these round babies for $10 at Payless. I didn’t even know they sold sunglasses so that was a fun find.

What are your top tote items?! Share in a comment below! I’d love to hear from you. <3

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Wondering & Wandering

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